My eyes are wet of tears when I open my bed room windows in the morning. As if Two little princess were still there looking at the insects in our pumpkin garden. With their little fingers they showed me flying butterfly, dragon fly and some nice little birds...Ouggh...they are not there now...
There is a moment that I always kiss her on the forehead..there is a moment that I always sit in front of our house when she is not home yet.. Tapi semuanya sudah hilang..Hilang dengan segala ketololanku..I have just realized that they are so precious and I can't live without. I can't help getting into the bedroom, as it were the nicest place of our togetherness..
She is right that I have to learn a lot of things while she is away. I have to be able to control my ego, my selfishness..my emotion and my other bad things. Yes I would like to learn and change.
Now I am making the house by myself, just like I used to do before moving to this town. I am still wondering what changed me so much till I disappoint her and the kids...Well..I will take another chances..and we start something new again like two years ago when we live in a smaller town..
I still remember when we cooked, washed, clean the house and had meal together in a small table. When she asked me, is it delicious ? ..and I always said "yups, nice and I like it" ..but it was so salty..
And I smile when I remember she screamed when I was out of the (scary) house...I want to have it again..
I miss that moment...
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